Common Concerns About Counseling

"Isn't going to counseling a sign of weakness? People should be able to solve their own problems."
Rather than a sign of weakness, engaging in counseling is a sign of strength, courage and determination. People do solve most problems on their own, but some issues are more complex and need the help and guidance of a professional. By coming to a counselor you are displaying the strength and courage to face these issues and work through them, and your determination to have a better life.

"If I go to counseling, aren't I admitting there is something wrong with me? Only "crazy" people need counseling."
People who come to counseling are far from "crazy." They are people just like you who may be stuck, unfulfilled, or facing life issues that feel overwhelming. Some clients do have diagnosed psychiatric disorders, but most of our clients are simply trying to make their way through obstacles that are keeping them from a happier life. Rather than something "wrong" with you, you are admitting there is something "right" with you that makes you want to resolve difficulties in your life.

"How can I tell my counselor the truth about me? Won't he/she judge me or think badly of me?"
It is common to worry about judgment when telling people about yourself. Counselors are not only trained to be accepting and non judgmental, but are usually that way by nature. It may take a while for you to build up trust in your counselor, but we are patient and will be there when you are ready to open up and talk about behaviors, thoughts,feelings and experiences that have been difficult to admit to and share.

"I assume my counselor will tell me what I should do about my problems. Why put out time and money if the counselor isn't going to supply me with solutions?"
It is normal to want someone to tell you what to do, but we counselors have found that the most successful and longest lasting resolution of issues occur when the client participates in the process. As counselors, our job is to guide you in finding the answers that will truly work for you and your particular situations. What works for one person doesn't always work for another. Working together we can work on coming up with solutions tailor made to fit your needs.

"I thought counseling was supposed to make me feel better. Why am I feeling worse?"
In the long run counseling will help you to feel better, but it may not happen right away. Facing and opening up about personal and oftentimes painful issues and feelings can make you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. Making positive changes for yourself may "upset the apple cart" with others and cause some initial stress. Yes, there may be a period of feeling worse before it gets better, but trudge through it - the life you want and deserve is waiting on the other side.

"Is it really necessary to dredge up the past? Why can't I just work on the issues facing me today?"
Past experiences are one of the factors that make us who we are today. It is helpful to revisit these times because much insight can be gained. Looking back at how you were treated, what messages you may have gotten about yourself, what significant events occurred and how you were affected by them, helps with understanding how you may be reacting to situations and people today. Experiencing stronger than usual emotions with certain people or in certain situations may be partly due to what is actually happening in the present, and partly due to leftover or unresolved issues from the past. Working through past issues with a trained counselor will help you become clearer about your choices and reactions today, and allow you to be the author of your own future.